It was a tough round of writing requirements for the AWC’s Furious Fiction challenge this month. In 500 words or less you had to include the name of at least one element from the periodic table AND the words ‘traffic’, ‘jowls’ and ‘hidden’ AND something that buzzes AND the first and last letter had to begin with an ‘s’. Phew!
Thankfully, library science came to my rescue – doesn’t it always? – and this sweetly serendipitous thing happened:
“Seriously?” Wilson glared at the librarian, smiling serenely behind a desk misleadingly labelled ‘Information’. “What sort of system is serendipitous juxtaposition?”
Her Cheshire cat smile grew wider.
“Wonderful.” She breathed rapture into each syllable.
“I don’t have time for this,” he said. “I’m already late. The traffic was appalling. The car park was full. I spilled my coffee and–” He grated out the words through clenched teeth, “I need that book.”
“Then I’m glad we can help you, sir.”
“But you’re not helping. I asked where it was and you said you don’t know.”
“That’s right.” She quivered with excitement like a six-year old about to blow out her birthday candles. “I don’t know where it is.”
Wilson pinched the skin at the top of his nose, hoping to dispel the faint buzz which warned of an impending migraine. It whined on, a tiny wasp trapped in his sinuses.
“Look, miss–”
She raised her left shoulder, grimaced and jerked her head rapidly to the side. The contortion drew his attention to a name badge pinned on her collar.
“Antimony. Right. If you could just tell me–”
“How it works? I’d love to!” Antimony clasped her hands together and said, “The serendipitous juxtaposition of related texts maximises the beneficial outcome of a library user’s anticipative browsing. Browsing, of course, is the art of not knowing what you want until you find it.”
“But I do know what I want,” Wilson wailed. “I know exactly what I want!”
“One book?” Antimony shook her head. “We can’t have you leaving with just one book. The library’s cost-efficiency study discovered that the optimal rate of bibliographic consumption was seven loan items per library user, per visit. Serendipitous juxtaposition allows you to find the otherwise hidden and overlooked items which are perfect for your needs. I can give you the general shelf number to browse.”
“The general…”
Wilson’s mouth opened and closed. He knew his face was flushing, his jowls wobbling like an indignant turkey’s, the damn little wasp drilling a spike of pain into his head. He remembered the doctor’s warning at his last check-up and drew in a long, deep breath.
“Yes,” he said. “Please.”
“Wonderful.” She dragged the word out again, while she scrawled a number on a card and handed it over with a flourish. “By the stairs, sir. Enjoy your browsing”
“Thank you,” he grated out, as his right eye began to twitch.
Antimony’s smile was as wide as the sky. “I’m sure it will be satisfyingly serendipitous.”